Meditation is not just for Gurus on Mountains

For the past two days, I’ve been trying to write about meditation. Now I realize that it’s stupid. You can’t tell people about meditation, you have to experience it.

When most people think about meditation, they picture some guru on a mountain top in the lotus position oming and chanting. Truth is, everyone meditates. We just do it differently.

 For the past 8 months, I’ve been on a journey, so to speak. I have taken a year off to travel and to rest. After all the shifts I experienced last year I really needed a break. So I went to Greece for 20 days, I went to the beach, I volunteered at the NC Museum of History, I helped a friend recover from surgery, and spent a great deal of time trying to stay as far away from home as possible. I wasn’t really thinking about why. I had actually been thinking of moving before but now I was ready to get as far away from here as I could. Spending time in my house made me sad.  I wasn’t afraid of being alone; I just didn’t want to be alone here.

 Before the passing of my mom, I loved being in my house. I loved working in the yard, cleaning (yes, I do like to clean!) decorating, planting the garden, sunbathing in the back yard, cooking in the kitchen. But then, when I decided to move, I just stopped doing those things.

Well, today I was debating on whether to go up to Pilot Mountain and sit on a rock and read/meditate or work in the back yard. I decided to give the back yard a shot since I have neglected it for so long and it used to bring me such joy. I pulled a tarp and picked up some sticks. Then I took a break and went to Home Depot and bought a new leaf blower. I stood out there in the yard with the white noise of the blower and just contemplated the dancing of the leaves in the wind. I blew a nice big pile up, pulled the tarp over and raked on them on the tarp. And then I thought to myself “this isn’t so bad; why have I not done this in awhile?” Then it occurred to me that I have been grieving. I really didn’t think that all I was doing—the traveling, the laziness—any of it was that. But now I realize that I have been grieving. Grieving for the loss of my mom, for relationships past, for friends who are moving, for people I have loved and lost, for children I could not help, for children I could help, and perhaps leaving this house that I love so very much now.

 Meditation comes to everyone in some way. Some meditate when they clean, some write, some listen to music, exercise, do yoga, draw, paint—anyway that brings a sense of satisfaction. A friend of mine in college once told me a story about her dad. When things got rough, he would get his gun and go out into the woods. He said he was going hunting, but he rarely came back with anything. She said he thought that maybe he just went out there to pray and think. Perhaps he was listening for God to answer.

I believe that mediation brings you closer to yourself. It allows you to go within. But the joy of meditation is not that I have to sit still and a mountain top and chant. I can do it while I throw the ball to Marley. I can rake leaves. All I have to do is let go.

Extended Vacations: No time for boredom.

In case you didn't already know, I have taken a year off from teaching. I had the means to do it, and I really needed a break. When I made this decision, my friends have been very supportive and seem to truly believe it was the best thing for me to do (and I am very thankful). On the other side, there are those that are seriously worried that I do not have a job. I have also had those asking “what are you doing with all of that time?”

Well, just so you know, I am not a total bum. I have been very busy with many different projects. But for the wonderer's of the world, here is what is going on with me:

•     I have been sleeping--alot--like actually sleeping through the morning. Now, I know I said I wasn't being a bum. And it's true. My hours have changed quite a bit and I think I am learning that I need to keep different hours. I usually get up around 10, have some time to meditate, write, research, and then I start the day. Now this also means that I stay up very late. For example, I am writing this blog at 12:55am. I probably won't go to bed until 2am. But I will still be productive.

•     I have been watching television I never had time for before. Thanks Netflix! Yes, I am going with the bum thing again. But, I now know what all the fuss has been about with such shows as Lost and True Blood and the Pyramid Codes. Alright, maybe that last one was not as popular, but I have learned a great deal.

•     I am becoming a technological genius by learning to blog, create web pages, and using my smart phone for things other than calling people. As a teacher, I used technology in the classroom, but now I am using it in real life. I am hoping this is going to help me find a job when the time comes. I have also got connected to Linkedin, twitter, globe troopers, couch surfers and all sorts of other fun networking!

•     I have been traveling across the state, Atlantic Ocean, Gulf of Mexico, and soon, the Pacific Ocean. I have used the time to see parts of the world and am constantly planning trips. I have spent time with my family, friends and people I really care about. I have gotten to know some really special people and have learned so much about myself and the world. I have strengthened relationships and learned to let go of others. I have learned about living. Wanna know about my trip to Greece? http://shelleysbigislandsummer.blogspot.com/

•     I have spent some time with my dogs. We hike a lot which gives me time to get to know myself and the Earth.

•     I have been helping other people with their various projects, etc. I have friends that are moving, friends that need their houses organized, friends that just need a friend around.

•     I have also been working on my own house. I have painted almost every room in the house. I have repaired damaged things, redecorated, and arranged. Perhaps when spring hits, I'll work in the yard.

•     And finally, I have been reading for pleasure. I have completed 10 books that were not required for school or teaching purposes. Do you know how awesome this is? I have been told by many people that teachers are lucky to get so much time off in the summer. I don't think the majority of the population understands that the time we do have off is for recovery. I was usually so tired by the end of the school year, that I really didn't feel like doing anything until August--and then I had to go back to work. So the simple things such as reading a trashy novel are a real treat. 

 

 So there you have it. I haven't been a total bum. I am sure there are other things I could be doing to save the world but I will have to do that a little later. I am learning, creating and living at my own pleasure. My only wish right now is that the rest of the world can feel this free, even if it is only for a short time.

Let Go and Let it Flow...yo.

I have been agonizing lately on writing for this blog. Most of the time, something will come along and say "hey! Write about me!" But obviously, the months of Oct, Nov, and Dec were times of reflection and family. It was also a time for me to think about what is really important to me. Now that I have, I have been bombarded with messages about clearing so I believe it is time to share these with you!

This past week, I have been listening to a pod cast called "Ascension 360: Navigating the New World Energies." I have to tell you this woman (Hillary Harris) is a wealth of information! Also this week, our Circle of Shaman focused on clearing out our vibrational fields to prepare for the shift of 2012 and our upcoming advanced Shaman class. I would like to share a bit of information that I received from both of these sources.

We are on the verge of a new world where we are returning to source and remembering who we are. In order to do this, we have to clean our vibrations--CLEAN AND CLEAR. 

According to Hillary Harris, there are 6 main areas that need to be cleaned out:

Environmental

Situational

Mental

Physical

Emotional

Spiritual

It is time to clean your vibrational house…and sometimes that's literal! 

Let's start with your environment:

If you are one of those people on the precipice of being on the  TV show "Hoarders," this is totally for you. Cleaning  the clutter in your house will help raise the vibration and also make you feel as if you have actually accomplished something.  Go through your closets and drawers and get rid of all the things that you no longer use, want to see, hate, or just have forgotten why the hell you had it in the first place. It only takes up space in your house and you need the energy flow! Look at those things hanging on your wall. Are they you? Let it go if it is not. Does your environment in which you live reflect who you are? If not, it is time to get rid of the old. 

Also think about the people in your environment, what you watch on TV, what you listen to on the radio, what you read on the internet (haha-this included!) Does it serve you? Does it bring you up or down? Let me invite you to open your world up to good news instead of all that is fear based. You will be amazed at how well you are able to think and how much better you feel when you are not surrounded by things that do not suit you. 

Situations: Jobs, relationships, family, friends. 

Sometimes those people you love  bring you down. Are you agreeing to things out of guilt or obligation--not because you want to? Perhaps it is time to speak your truth and just say no. You may even have to let these people go. This is extremely challenging. This takes a great deal of courage to implement. Sometimes it just takes some time, but these areas drag down your energy.

How about having too much to do? You do over plan in order to feel successful? I used to have this issue myself. I was constantly making a list. Now, I still make a list, but if I don't get it all done, it's ok. The list mainly is so that I don't forget to pick up such things as toothpaste and toilet paper.

Physical: Food and Drink

Things that could be making you sick or bringing you down:

sugar 

meat

Processed food

alcohol

I love all of these things and will continue to eat them. After all, I do love to brew the beer. But being aware of what you put into your body is the first step. Before you eat that Twinkie in the pantry, take  a moment to ask yourself what that Twinkie is going to do for you. 

You do need energy and protein to keep going but limiting the amount of sugar and processed foods will help you feel much better.

Mental: what are you thinking about? Is your EGO overactive? 

If you want to know more about your ego, check out Eckart Tolle. He can explain it all much better than I can. I HIGHLY recommend you read his books or listen to his lectures if you have not already. You can order his shit from amazon here.

Your ego needs to be quiet. When you are thinking of things of the past (shoulda, coulda, woulda) then your ego is working on you. When it brings these things up, it is best to recognize it, thank it, then let it go. You want to live in the now as much as possible and your ego does not always help you do that. 

What type of language are you using? Words have power! Your negative language such as "I hate that", or "that makes me sick"  spread negativity and really do "make you sick." Think about the attitudes you have about certain groups of people. Negative thoughts lead to negative things and manifest in the world. When you have one of these thoughts, please take the time to "think" about what you are thinking.  Attitudes and choices are also important. Do you always feel that you struggle? Do you have the notion that "when this happens or I get enough money, then I'll be happy"? Make a choice to be happy. Recognize your ego and quiet it. Make your teacup half full!!

Emotional: Anxiety, fear, depression, anger, etc.

Where does it come from? Usually the past. These wounds will hold you in a negative pattern and will suck you back down. Your ego loves this shit. 

According to Hillary Harris, the best and simplest way to deal with it: Stop taking things personally and stop comparing yourself to others.

The opposite of love is fear. Most of the time, we get depressed or sad or anxious is because we are afraid. Now, don't get me wrong; fear is important and will keep you from doing something really stupid. But fear should not overwhelm you. Trying something new causes anxiety however, overcoming this fear opens up our worlds to new and exciting things. 

Spiritual: Karma clearing

It is time to clear out repeating lessons of the past. Now, according to Harris, this is where many of us are finished with our contracts here on Earth. We have completed our journey that our contracts were dictating. Now that time is over. We are free and we are in control of our destiny--which also means we are totally responsible for our lives! WOW. 

I first read about this in Hunt Henion's book Looking, Seeing, Knowing where he talks about his experiences with not having a contract and at first, it did not make sense to me. I mean, after all we come into this world with a contract and things we must do. But because this is a new and never-been-experienced-before sort of shift, most children born after 2000 do not have these contracts. They are here to further their spiritual awareness. So is the time for all of us.


Some other great suggestions on how to deal with energy flux, etc:

• Exercise! Even if it is just a walk in the park for about twenty minutes. It will help you clear you mind.
• Get lots of rest/sleep. Energy flux wreaks havoc on the system.
• Take some salt baths. Epsom Salt is cheap and easily found in the local grocery store/pharmacy. Also a good place to order bath salts is the San Francisco Salt Company.  I have friends that swear by them.
• Stay in touch with your guides. They are the little voices in your head and that feeling in your gut. Be careful not to confuse the voice with your ego. Your guides will lead you in the right direction. Your ego would be trying to scare the crap out of you.

Now is the time to step beyond and become a light for everyone else. It is time to let go of all that does not serve you any longer and open your heart to everything you want. Now is your moment. LIVE IN LOVE!

Please be aware that your life is about to change. You are about to go through a great shift. Your relationships, job, environment,  EVERYTHING will be different. The good news is you are not alone!

For more information, check out the following links:

Ascension 360

Earthstar Spiritual Center

Celestial Vision

NOW is not just an acronym for a women's movement

A wise old man once said "I’ve seen a lot of trouble in my life and most of it never happened."

That’s me quoting Donald White via Mark Twain who actually said "I’ve known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." Don was close.

I have found that this is pretty much true. We spend a great deal of our lives and our time worrying about things that never actually happen. We sit and think of all the scenarios of what could possibly happen. We play it over and over again in our heads many different ways. Yet we will find that when the pivotal moment comes into play, it is never as bad or dramatic as we make it out. Ok, for some of you it is...why is that?

Why do we worry so much? According to the CDC, the worry gene is well, genetic and if your parents worried, well you are going to worry too. Actually, that is not true. I have no idea what the CDC says about this. But I have observed that in lots of cases worrying comes from watching others worry. It’s a domino effect. I watch you worry about whether or not you left the iron on or not. Then I begin to worry if I left my iron on. Then I tell a friend who is now worried she left the iron on, etc, etc when in fact the only one of us who actually irons is the one who started the worrying. Soon, we have a nation of people who are freaking out and taking anxiety medication and become zombies and then the aliens come in and take over the planet and we are all doomed because someone might have left the iron on. Worried yet?

Now the good folks at ABC are not concerned with whether you are worried or not. They know you are worried about something. They just hope it is the right thing. In a not-so-recent/several month old article, Ned Potter found this out:

"Behavioral scientists say because of the brain's structure, perfectly healthy people may overreact to upsetting circumstances. Many Americans went and bought duct tape — even though they knew, on an intellectual level, that their personal odds of dying in a terrorist attack were far smaller than the risk from auto accidents or heart disease." Which I kind of find ironic because I am sure the media is very concerned that we may die in a terrorist attack...or a protest attack–which ever is closest.

Anyway, it actually seems that the more we know about the situation, the less we are inclined to worry about what is going to happen. Let’s take this scenario:

You come home from a long day at work. You are tired, frustrated and hungry. Your spouse walks into the room and says "we need to talk."

Makes you cringe just reading those words, doesn’t it? I have found in my experience that every time I hear these words, I will be sitting somewhere listening to someone tell me why I was not supposed to do something I already did or was getting ready to do. That’s what my experience tells me. But for all I know, my spouse could have gotten a promotion and we were going to be moving to Hawaii! That is not very likely, but it could happen. Point is, I am probably freaking out over nothing.

I have however, found one way to pretty much solve this problem. It is not an easy task by any means but it actually works. I try to "live in the now." NOW, before you go off griping telling me that I must think of my future, let me ask you this: "where has thinking of my future gotten me so far?" As a matter of fact, I thought about my future all the time when I was a kid. Now I can’t remember half of my childhood because I was thinking about how awesome things were going to be now. And look where I am now! (Wait, don’t look until I put some clothes on.) Hey!...this is pretty awesome, however this is no where near what I envisioned as a kid. But I believe that if I spent half the time doing something I really loved instead of worrying about what others thought of me, I would have enjoyed this life more. Now that I know the secret, I am out to live it fully.

You will find that no matter what you do or how much you worry, things turn out ok. The world keeps on spinning and even though some of us may cross the veil and no longer exist on this plane, that does not mean everything is not ok. It just means a new adventure for everyone because nothing is the same.

Now is the moment of power people. Live in it.

It's Called Snake Oil, Ya'll...

So the last few days of September have got me on edge. Apparently there are several things going on in the universe that are making people a little crazy. There’s the new moon–in Libra, the fall equinox, Pluto is in Capricorn helping us finalize a few things, and a friend even mentioned the solar flares. Of course I am fully aware of the shifting vibrations that are everywhere these days. I have found myself outside more often trying to ground and center. I am unfocused, unmotivated and yet the Capricorn in me is screaming "DO SOMETHING!" Problem is, I have no idea what to do.

And then I realized that perhaps I need to start paying attention to the not-so-subtle nuances and signs floating my way.

First, there were the dreams.
Now, Capricorn being my sun sign, I am not prone to sitting still. When you want something, you must put forth some effort into getting it. We have that sort of work ethic. However, since I quit my job and was basically living for the day, I have felt as though I have not put forth any work what so ever into anything. I was waking up at strange hours of the night feeling as though I was going to jump out of my body. I was (and still am) having strange dreams of death and living in other places as other people. I had a dream one night that I was a Chinese girl living in China and I was in a dark lit room talking to my brother. People in my family that have passed away kept showing up in my dreams. It seemed they all had messages for me but mostly they were just there—sort of talking to me and hanging out. I was finding it harder and harder to ground and center. I needed to do something.

So I called my friend Angela up and scheduled some energy work. If anyone could figure out what was up with me, she could. After an hour of toning and smudging and other stuff she did, we came to the conclusion that I was having some ascension symptoms, and lucky me, this was only the beginning. I told her I had felt lately that I was supposed to be doing something–moving in some sort of direction, but she assured me that I was doing exactly what I was meant to–what I had planned to do all along. This was a time to learn and to grow. To prepare myself for the coming years. Could she tell me what I would be doing in those coming years? Well, no. That was something I was supposed to figure out myself. But I should stop worrying about it. All things were coming in due time. I had to prepare myself spiritually, and this was the best time to do it.

Ok. Fine. I could do that.....for about 3 days. Then my Ku began to get the best of me again. So the universe had to send out another message for me.

So then there were the snakes.

Two manifesting themselves in my path and one in my dreams. Ok, snake totem, what do you have to tell me?

According to Ted Andrews, "The Kundalini or serpent fire lies coiled at the base of the spine. As we grow and develop, the primal energy is released, rising up the spine. In turn, this activates energy centers in the body and mind opening new dimensions and levels of awareness, health and creativity" (2009). Now, earlier this week, I woke up with back pain at the base of my spine. It circled around the left side of my body to the front in exactly the same place. I pretty much chalked this up to me picking up my 60 pound dog and carrying her up a few steps into the house. It did not occur to me that earlier that day, while out on a trail on the Eno River, I encountered a juvenile northern water snake. It was swimming right up to me until I began to freak out a little and then it swam away from me toward the bank. It was a bright red color which put me on edge because I thought perhaps it was a copperhead. But copperheads don’t usually swim (I don’t think). It did not have that triangular head that indicated it was poisonous. I don’t think it meant me or my dogs any harm. As a matter of fact, it seemed to ignore them and my dogs who are prone to chasing snakes did not even notice it. I think it was there just for me.

Then it also occurred to me that on that particular morning, I was looking for an empty page in my notebook and stumbled across snake medicine notes that I had taken a year ago at a Native American workshop. Native Americans believe snakes are a message of transformation and healing. Cherokees specifically believed that the snake was a female energy and only women were allowed to handle the herbs that were of snake energy. Here was clue number two staring me right in the face–female energy.

The next night after book club, my friend Tavane comes up the street alerting us of a dead copperhead in the road. She had taken a picture of it and was headed back into the house to alert the residents. I was curious so I walked down to take a look. As I approached, the snake moved. Julie seemed to think it was the last pulses of nerves going through the body. The snake had obviously been hit by a car and was bleeding–but not very much. Plus the only part of the snake that appeared to be hurt was the tail. It sat still in the road even as we stood only a few feet from it. I resisted the urge to poke it with a stick. I was not sure it was dead, but I was not going to push my luck with a wounded poisonous snake. I did find it odd that I had run across two snakes in two days.

And then I did some research

Snakes, besides meaning female energy and represent the Kundalini spirit, also symbolize both death and rebirth. As with Pluto swimming around in the sign of Capricorn, I should be seeing some death in my life. Now this does not necessarily mean someone is going to die...although I have often found that when I dream of death, someone usually dies. But all things must come to an end. Tomorrow is the end of the month and the last time Pluto was in Capricorn, major shit happened...like the American Revolution. AND it’s not leaving until 2023. So it appears that it is time to let go of some things. Perhaps it is time I stopped panicking about not working and enjoy the time off. Perhaps I need to embraced the notion that sometimes you have to do nothing to do something. And in doing this "nothing" I shall create something new...Like a new country.... "You say you want a revolution?"

Back off Whitey: The greatest of these is LOVE

It is a shame that you have to hide who you are in order to live in a society with basic securities. To keep your job means keeping quiet about your personal life. To know that the government you elected seems to think that your are less than human because of who you love. To refuse to see the truth in that all of us are one. We are here to learn to live and accept one another because we ARE one another. We are reflections of something much greater yet we cling to beliefs of a lower vibration, of a dimension less.
Since I have taken the year off of teaching, I have stopped paying attention to the news and events of the world. I think that it has helped my stress level quite a bit. However, just recently I learned that the legislature of NC has recently put a constitutional amendment on next years ballot banning gay marriage. Now, I know my state has in the past been a red state. We are overrun by Southern Baptists. We are apparently also overrun by old people who seem to believe that their ego knows what is right for everyone. Obviously there is something in themselves that they hate and fear and they have to put it on someone else in order to justify it.
Now I know and also have a few friends who will tell you that homosexuality is "wrong" because it says so in the Bible. Well, I admit that once upon a LONG time ago, I said that too. I was struggling with who I was and wanted very much to be connected to something bigger than I and I felt that Christianity was going to take me there. And then I stopped to think. Why would God condemn me to hell if he made me who I am? Why would God condemn millions of Hindus and Buddhists to hell for practicing peace, love and harmony? There can’t just be one way into heaven.
But perhaps there is one right answer for all of us. That answer is love.1 John 4:18-19 states "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us." So I ask you (NC Legislature) are you trying to punish those that love? Isn’t that what marriage is supposed to be about? Finding the one partner in your life that loves you as themselves and wishes to spread that love together in God’s name?
So if you are one out there that is having trouble accepting others as they are, are feeling the need to "testify" or "save" those that are not on the same path as you or create laws that denies certain human rights, I would like to offer a suggestion: start with saving yourself. Because if you feel the need to project on to others (and me) how you feel about what I am doing then stop and think: you are watching a reflection of yourself. What do you see inside yourself that you hate and fear so much? God made you as you are. You are perfect. Accept you as you are and love your neighbor as yourself.
And remember:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."
And where there are laws that deny us our right to love, they will be vetoed. Amen.

Anti-Gay Amendment Passes NC Legislature

My Reality is a Work in Progress

So lately I’ve been reading lots of books about the upcoming shift/ascension/2012 that is coming up–you know, tips, guides, what to expect and how to handle it etc. There is a lot of useful information to be sure. As a matter of fact, the more I read, the more I realize I am right in the middle of the ascension process. After all, this past year has been FULL of shifts and what else would cause a person to quit their job and try to sell their house in this market? Well, one that does not believe in the reality someone else has dictated for her. So, as I sit on my couch on a lovely Thursday fall morning, writing and listening to music instead of standing in my classroom trying very hard to teach 30+ 6th graders the importance of knowing how to read a map, I ask myself the important questions–such as “what kind of coffee shall I brew this morning?”

Just kidding. I am actually asking myself things such as: “what do you really want from this world? What does your perfect world look like? Who is in it? Where are you going to live? What will you do for a living?” And I find that everyday these answers get easier and easier to answer...mainly because I just let go of all my preconceived notions of what I should be doing and just live in this movement. But, my brain leads me on to the next moment and the next and what might possibly be happening next week that I really should get a start on this week and...

And then a friend of mine snapped be back to reality. I had posted as a status on my gmail account “I wonder what’s next.” and she says to me, “why wonder: create your own reality.” And it hit me. That is exactly what I should be doing. Why can’t I have everything that I want? Yes, of course some work is going to go into it. I can’t wish that beautiful house by the water just by...well...wishing. I will have to get off the couch at some point, put the house on the market, and see about getting that dream job I want. But anything in this world is possible. It’s just all up to me to make it happen.

I was telling a very good friend of mine the other day how proud I was of her. How she had decided to take the year and make some improvements to herself and her life, and one of those steps included therapy. She looked at me and said “yeah, but it’s a long, long road.” And now it occurs to me, does it have to be a long road? Did someone tell her that or did she decide on her own? Was it a preconceived notion that it had to take a long time? It also reminds me of a joke:

Guy walks into a therapists office and says he has a problem. He believes there are monsters beneath his bed and he is terrified. Well the therapist explains that he can help the man solve his problems but it will take months of therapy and he can set up some more appointments and come in once a week or more to see him. The guy thanks the therapist and walks out of the office. Several weeks later, the therapist sees the guy walking down the street and stops him. He says “I haven’t seen you in a while. I thought we were going to work on your monster problem.” The guys says, “yeah, well after I saw you, I went to the bar across the street to have a drink. I spoke to the bartender about my problem and he had a genius idea. All I needed to do to get rid of the monsters underneath the bed was to saw off the bed posts. Monsters gone. And all it cost me was a beer!”
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not discounting the affects of therapy. By all means, I think my life and outlook on things could have been very different a long time ago had I had some. However, you get what you give in this world. And if you decide that it will only take weeks instead of months to do something, then it is totally your decision. That is, after all, the whole point, right? It is all your decision. Free will, as you would have it. And so, who knows. I may get off this couch, sell this house and be sitting on a beach in Hawaii sometime next month. Don’t be surprised if I am.

Bless the present, expect the best, trust yourself. It is all up to you.