I think it is now official: I am one of those hermits that dives into a depression and sits on her couch and does nothing. I am Sarah this time last year. I thought I was doing just fine. I mean I was getting out some, hanging with some people from work, going to book club, taking an occasional weekend away. But today, my neighbors decided it was time for an intervention. It made me a little emotional. It wasn’t like she was trying to pry into my life, but I had a rough day and it hit me kinda hard.
The day sort of began like any other day except for the first 5 hours we just sat and watched 24 kids take a test. But I forgot to do a few things today and of course I got the brunt of it. I have been forgetting a lot of things lately. I have been screwing up a lot. I have pissed quite a few people off. And yet, I manage to get out of bed and keep on going. So tomorrow we will be back on a regular schedule and I will fight through the day to try and actually try to teach something even though none of them will actually learn anything. And to tell you the truth I find some comfort in it. And to tell you the truth I find it disheartening.
There are days like today that make me feel lost in this world. And yet, I know I have a path to walk. It just seems that walking it these days takes a great deal of energy.
And I miss my mom. I miss talking to her about this. And it is days like this that I feel it more.
