It's Called Snake Oil, Ya'll...

So the last few days of September have got me on edge. Apparently there are several things going on in the universe that are making people a little crazy. There’s the new moon–in Libra, the fall equinox, Pluto is in Capricorn helping us finalize a few things, and a friend even mentioned the solar flares. Of course I am fully aware of the shifting vibrations that are everywhere these days. I have found myself outside more often trying to ground and center. I am unfocused, unmotivated and yet the Capricorn in me is screaming "DO SOMETHING!" Problem is, I have no idea what to do.

And then I realized that perhaps I need to start paying attention to the not-so-subtle nuances and signs floating my way.

First, there were the dreams.
Now, Capricorn being my sun sign, I am not prone to sitting still. When you want something, you must put forth some effort into getting it. We have that sort of work ethic. However, since I quit my job and was basically living for the day, I have felt as though I have not put forth any work what so ever into anything. I was waking up at strange hours of the night feeling as though I was going to jump out of my body. I was (and still am) having strange dreams of death and living in other places as other people. I had a dream one night that I was a Chinese girl living in China and I was in a dark lit room talking to my brother. People in my family that have passed away kept showing up in my dreams. It seemed they all had messages for me but mostly they were just there—sort of talking to me and hanging out. I was finding it harder and harder to ground and center. I needed to do something.

So I called my friend Angela up and scheduled some energy work. If anyone could figure out what was up with me, she could. After an hour of toning and smudging and other stuff she did, we came to the conclusion that I was having some ascension symptoms, and lucky me, this was only the beginning. I told her I had felt lately that I was supposed to be doing something–moving in some sort of direction, but she assured me that I was doing exactly what I was meant to–what I had planned to do all along. This was a time to learn and to grow. To prepare myself for the coming years. Could she tell me what I would be doing in those coming years? Well, no. That was something I was supposed to figure out myself. But I should stop worrying about it. All things were coming in due time. I had to prepare myself spiritually, and this was the best time to do it.

Ok. Fine. I could do that.....for about 3 days. Then my Ku began to get the best of me again. So the universe had to send out another message for me.

So then there were the snakes.

Two manifesting themselves in my path and one in my dreams. Ok, snake totem, what do you have to tell me?

According to Ted Andrews, "The Kundalini or serpent fire lies coiled at the base of the spine. As we grow and develop, the primal energy is released, rising up the spine. In turn, this activates energy centers in the body and mind opening new dimensions and levels of awareness, health and creativity" (2009). Now, earlier this week, I woke up with back pain at the base of my spine. It circled around the left side of my body to the front in exactly the same place. I pretty much chalked this up to me picking up my 60 pound dog and carrying her up a few steps into the house. It did not occur to me that earlier that day, while out on a trail on the Eno River, I encountered a juvenile northern water snake. It was swimming right up to me until I began to freak out a little and then it swam away from me toward the bank. It was a bright red color which put me on edge because I thought perhaps it was a copperhead. But copperheads don’t usually swim (I don’t think). It did not have that triangular head that indicated it was poisonous. I don’t think it meant me or my dogs any harm. As a matter of fact, it seemed to ignore them and my dogs who are prone to chasing snakes did not even notice it. I think it was there just for me.

Then it also occurred to me that on that particular morning, I was looking for an empty page in my notebook and stumbled across snake medicine notes that I had taken a year ago at a Native American workshop. Native Americans believe snakes are a message of transformation and healing. Cherokees specifically believed that the snake was a female energy and only women were allowed to handle the herbs that were of snake energy. Here was clue number two staring me right in the face–female energy.

The next night after book club, my friend Tavane comes up the street alerting us of a dead copperhead in the road. She had taken a picture of it and was headed back into the house to alert the residents. I was curious so I walked down to take a look. As I approached, the snake moved. Julie seemed to think it was the last pulses of nerves going through the body. The snake had obviously been hit by a car and was bleeding–but not very much. Plus the only part of the snake that appeared to be hurt was the tail. It sat still in the road even as we stood only a few feet from it. I resisted the urge to poke it with a stick. I was not sure it was dead, but I was not going to push my luck with a wounded poisonous snake. I did find it odd that I had run across two snakes in two days.

And then I did some research

Snakes, besides meaning female energy and represent the Kundalini spirit, also symbolize both death and rebirth. As with Pluto swimming around in the sign of Capricorn, I should be seeing some death in my life. Now this does not necessarily mean someone is going to die...although I have often found that when I dream of death, someone usually dies. But all things must come to an end. Tomorrow is the end of the month and the last time Pluto was in Capricorn, major shit happened...like the American Revolution. AND it’s not leaving until 2023. So it appears that it is time to let go of some things. Perhaps it is time I stopped panicking about not working and enjoy the time off. Perhaps I need to embraced the notion that sometimes you have to do nothing to do something. And in doing this "nothing" I shall create something new...Like a new country.... "You say you want a revolution?"

Back off Whitey: The greatest of these is LOVE

It is a shame that you have to hide who you are in order to live in a society with basic securities. To keep your job means keeping quiet about your personal life. To know that the government you elected seems to think that your are less than human because of who you love. To refuse to see the truth in that all of us are one. We are here to learn to live and accept one another because we ARE one another. We are reflections of something much greater yet we cling to beliefs of a lower vibration, of a dimension less.
Since I have taken the year off of teaching, I have stopped paying attention to the news and events of the world. I think that it has helped my stress level quite a bit. However, just recently I learned that the legislature of NC has recently put a constitutional amendment on next years ballot banning gay marriage. Now, I know my state has in the past been a red state. We are overrun by Southern Baptists. We are apparently also overrun by old people who seem to believe that their ego knows what is right for everyone. Obviously there is something in themselves that they hate and fear and they have to put it on someone else in order to justify it.
Now I know and also have a few friends who will tell you that homosexuality is "wrong" because it says so in the Bible. Well, I admit that once upon a LONG time ago, I said that too. I was struggling with who I was and wanted very much to be connected to something bigger than I and I felt that Christianity was going to take me there. And then I stopped to think. Why would God condemn me to hell if he made me who I am? Why would God condemn millions of Hindus and Buddhists to hell for practicing peace, love and harmony? There can’t just be one way into heaven.
But perhaps there is one right answer for all of us. That answer is love.1 John 4:18-19 states "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us." So I ask you (NC Legislature) are you trying to punish those that love? Isn’t that what marriage is supposed to be about? Finding the one partner in your life that loves you as themselves and wishes to spread that love together in God’s name?
So if you are one out there that is having trouble accepting others as they are, are feeling the need to "testify" or "save" those that are not on the same path as you or create laws that denies certain human rights, I would like to offer a suggestion: start with saving yourself. Because if you feel the need to project on to others (and me) how you feel about what I am doing then stop and think: you are watching a reflection of yourself. What do you see inside yourself that you hate and fear so much? God made you as you are. You are perfect. Accept you as you are and love your neighbor as yourself.
And remember:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."
And where there are laws that deny us our right to love, they will be vetoed. Amen.

Anti-Gay Amendment Passes NC Legislature

My Reality is a Work in Progress

So lately I’ve been reading lots of books about the upcoming shift/ascension/2012 that is coming up–you know, tips, guides, what to expect and how to handle it etc. There is a lot of useful information to be sure. As a matter of fact, the more I read, the more I realize I am right in the middle of the ascension process. After all, this past year has been FULL of shifts and what else would cause a person to quit their job and try to sell their house in this market? Well, one that does not believe in the reality someone else has dictated for her. So, as I sit on my couch on a lovely Thursday fall morning, writing and listening to music instead of standing in my classroom trying very hard to teach 30+ 6th graders the importance of knowing how to read a map, I ask myself the important questions–such as “what kind of coffee shall I brew this morning?”

Just kidding. I am actually asking myself things such as: “what do you really want from this world? What does your perfect world look like? Who is in it? Where are you going to live? What will you do for a living?” And I find that everyday these answers get easier and easier to answer...mainly because I just let go of all my preconceived notions of what I should be doing and just live in this movement. But, my brain leads me on to the next moment and the next and what might possibly be happening next week that I really should get a start on this week and...

And then a friend of mine snapped be back to reality. I had posted as a status on my gmail account “I wonder what’s next.” and she says to me, “why wonder: create your own reality.” And it hit me. That is exactly what I should be doing. Why can’t I have everything that I want? Yes, of course some work is going to go into it. I can’t wish that beautiful house by the water just by...well...wishing. I will have to get off the couch at some point, put the house on the market, and see about getting that dream job I want. But anything in this world is possible. It’s just all up to me to make it happen.

I was telling a very good friend of mine the other day how proud I was of her. How she had decided to take the year and make some improvements to herself and her life, and one of those steps included therapy. She looked at me and said “yeah, but it’s a long, long road.” And now it occurs to me, does it have to be a long road? Did someone tell her that or did she decide on her own? Was it a preconceived notion that it had to take a long time? It also reminds me of a joke:

Guy walks into a therapists office and says he has a problem. He believes there are monsters beneath his bed and he is terrified. Well the therapist explains that he can help the man solve his problems but it will take months of therapy and he can set up some more appointments and come in once a week or more to see him. The guy thanks the therapist and walks out of the office. Several weeks later, the therapist sees the guy walking down the street and stops him. He says “I haven’t seen you in a while. I thought we were going to work on your monster problem.” The guys says, “yeah, well after I saw you, I went to the bar across the street to have a drink. I spoke to the bartender about my problem and he had a genius idea. All I needed to do to get rid of the monsters underneath the bed was to saw off the bed posts. Monsters gone. And all it cost me was a beer!”
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not discounting the affects of therapy. By all means, I think my life and outlook on things could have been very different a long time ago had I had some. However, you get what you give in this world. And if you decide that it will only take weeks instead of months to do something, then it is totally your decision. That is, after all, the whole point, right? It is all your decision. Free will, as you would have it. And so, who knows. I may get off this couch, sell this house and be sitting on a beach in Hawaii sometime next month. Don’t be surprised if I am.

Bless the present, expect the best, trust yourself. It is all up to you.