Tis the Season....

As I get older, I have come to appreciate the month of November a little more. I think it is because the Thanksgiving holiday comes around and we are all reminded to take a day to enjoy family and friends and to truly take a moment of gratitude for the things that we have in this life. It also marks the beginning of the Christmas season, a time of year when the entire world is supposed to come together in love, peace and the spirit of giving. Unfortunately, we seem to forget what the season is truly about.

 Now, for you Christians out there, I am not referring to the birth of Jesus. After all, he was most likely born in July anyway. I am referring to the idea of GIVING—NOT GETTING. I know as a kid we get all excited making out our Christmas lists so that Santa will know exactly what we want. I know as a child I was somewhat spoiled in this arena. After all, I can’t remember one thing that I asked for and did not get. But then again, I was taught at an early age to be grateful for any gift that was given to me whether it was on my list or not. Remember that saying “it’s the thought that counts?” Well, think that if someone gives you a gift, they were thinking of you, and probably fondly.  Did you ever hand the gift back and say “what made you think I wanted this?” No, because it is rude and selfish.

This past weekend, my family had our Christmas gathering. Our tradition consists of drawing names of others on the opposite side of our family so we are not burdened by buying so many gifts. The adults do this, but when it comes to the children, we actually all buy them gifts. This year, we had only 4 children to buy for, one being less than a year old. As most of us opened maybe one or two gifts from our family members, these children were going through as many as 7 and 8 gifts, not bothering to check labels or names to see who gave them what. And then at the end of it all, my niece decides that what she got was not enough because the younger one in the bunch received a poster booklet that she wanted. It wasn't enough that she got a microscope, a telescope, clothes, gift cards, a chemistry set, candy—she wanted to know why she did not get that poster booklet. What she didn't know is that she was to get one on Christmas Day. But it was way more important that she got it now. I was disappointed because the only one who said anything to her was me and her grandfather.  After all, she never said thank you to me for her present.

And then, there is my work place. As a grade level, we have decided to do secret Santa this year. I drew the name of a teacher I love and respect a great deal and was very excited to give her some gifts. I picked them out based on a list that she made. On the first day, she complained that she hadn't received anything. The problem was I wasn't able to get the present to her without her knowing it was me. The second and third days, I sent a gift to her but there was a mix up and someone else got it. Each day, I had to hear how disappointed she was that her secret Santa had only given her one gift. I watched this teacher—an adult mind you—pitch the same fit that my 10 year old niece threw. The next day, I made sure she got the gift with a note attached:

“I am terribly sorry that there was a mix-up and you did not get the gifts that were for you. Please accept these gifts with my sincerest apologies. I know how you love secret Santa and you deserve better.”

Do you think I was overly dramatic?

Anyway, I believe that the whole idea of giving gifts should be that you want to give this person something because you like them, respect them, want to show them that you are in their heart for whatever reason—whether you love them as a lover, friend, or colleague. When I give a gift, I do not expect one in return. I don’t think I am owed anything.  I just want the person to know that I have thought of them. To me, that is the truest gift of all. I mean, did the Wisemen actually expect the 9 lb 2 oz baby Jesus to give them something back? Ugh.

Second Guessing and Unintentional Lessons

Most days, I doubt that I am teaching my kids enough. I stand at the top of this room and look out over those faces and worry.Worry that I am letting them down. They are so young and seem to know so little.

Then occasionally, I have a bright idea. This time, I assigned them to write a biographical essay on someone that they know who has had to persevere. This was not meant to be a hard topic or even a deep one. The assignment was pretty simple too: interview a person, convert the interview into an essay.

Now any writing assignment for these kids is actually not that easy--well, not from my end. It seems as though getting words on paper is like pulling teeth. They don't know where to start--a thesis statement is somewhat foreign to them. But most of them try very hard.

My reward for this assignment comes when the kids realize things about their parents or loved ones that they did not know before. Perhaps they didn't know that raising kids was a hard job, that divorce isn't easy on parents either. That even though the students are expected to go to college, the parents dreams are unrealized because their children came first.

One afternoon, I sat with a student as he tried to put his introductory paragraph together. He was struggling with how to describe his own father, who has been in a wheel chair for a while. I started asking him questions about how his dad did day to day things that he took for granted. The student just looked up at me and said "you know, I never really paid any attention to it. Maybe I should start."

And then I realize I have taught them something unintentionally, and those are the best lessons.

Why Do I Teach Middle School?

I’ve been reading a lot of blogs lately written by former teachers. Former teachers who first chose this profession because they were idealistic and wanted to make a difference. Former teachers who now feel that our education system doesn’t work. As a middle school teacher, I have started to agree with them.

When I tell others what I do for a living (I teach middle school Language Arts/social studies), the usual response goes through a spectrum of “oh, bless your heart” to “oh dear.” Most adults know that this is the age that is the most challenging. Here our kids are growing exponentially quicker than they have since they were newborns. They are learning about their bodies, about the opposite sex, and that the world they live in and their parents are --dare I say it--not perfect. They are met with challenges of fitting in and being an individual at the same time. They are still between the elementary and high school stages where you are not sure they are ready for that movie even though it is rated PG-13. 

As an AIG teacher (Academically and intellectually gifted) I am met with similar challenges when it comes to educating my students. They learn at a faster rate than most and usually have been exposed to much more of the world and cultures. However,  there are times when we reach a topic in class that has inspired them to go out and learn more, but also involves crossing that boundary into age appropriateness. These past weeks, our social studies classes learned about the invisible children and Kony 2012. They had a guest speaker come in and talk to them and educate them that life in other parts of the world is much worse. Some were even inspired to join the march in Washington DC and give money to the cause. 

One student in particular went home and demanded (to her parents) that they take her to the march and help her to support this cause. The parents were upset. They went to the superintendent and the board of education. How dare we expose her child to the harshness of the world outside of the United States. She was so distraught over what was happening in Africa that she MUST do something and there was no way the “quench her thirst.”

But isn’t this what education is all about? Aren’t we, as educators, supposed to inspire students to stand up for the weak, to help when we can, to make them aware that the rest of the world is a different place? Aren’t we supposed to guide them to be aware of the leaders we choose, to introduce them to new ideas, to encourage them to make a difference?

I was recently planning a trip to China with my students. It is the same trip that I went on this past summer and one of the social studies teachers was planning it with me. But after this one parent got upset over this presentation, she is now afraid to even approach the school about our trip. I have chosen to plan it alone, because I will not be daunted. However, one parent--just one--has scared one teacher enough into not going that extra mile.

A friend of mine recently posted that her 5th grader was looking into private/charter schools because she was not getting challenged enough in her regular school. And I have to say, I support this kid for standing up for her education. Education--in it’s purest form--is messy. It is emotional. It is hands on and it is EXPERIENCE. 

So why did I choose middle school and STILL choose middle school? Because it is messy. Because I hope that one day I will inspire one kid to reach out beyond the fear and make a difference. Because one teacher did that for me and I am paying it forward.

Meditation is not just for Gurus on Mountains

For the past two days, I’ve been trying to write about meditation. Now I realize that it’s stupid. You can’t tell people about meditation, you have to experience it.

When most people think about meditation, they picture some guru on a mountain top in the lotus position oming and chanting. Truth is, everyone meditates. We just do it differently.

 For the past 8 months, I’ve been on a journey, so to speak. I have taken a year off to travel and to rest. After all the shifts I experienced last year I really needed a break. So I went to Greece for 20 days, I went to the beach, I volunteered at the NC Museum of History, I helped a friend recover from surgery, and spent a great deal of time trying to stay as far away from home as possible. I wasn’t really thinking about why. I had actually been thinking of moving before but now I was ready to get as far away from here as I could. Spending time in my house made me sad.  I wasn’t afraid of being alone; I just didn’t want to be alone here.

 Before the passing of my mom, I loved being in my house. I loved working in the yard, cleaning (yes, I do like to clean!) decorating, planting the garden, sunbathing in the back yard, cooking in the kitchen. But then, when I decided to move, I just stopped doing those things.

Well, today I was debating on whether to go up to Pilot Mountain and sit on a rock and read/meditate or work in the back yard. I decided to give the back yard a shot since I have neglected it for so long and it used to bring me such joy. I pulled a tarp and picked up some sticks. Then I took a break and went to Home Depot and bought a new leaf blower. I stood out there in the yard with the white noise of the blower and just contemplated the dancing of the leaves in the wind. I blew a nice big pile up, pulled the tarp over and raked on them on the tarp. And then I thought to myself “this isn’t so bad; why have I not done this in awhile?” Then it occurred to me that I have been grieving. I really didn’t think that all I was doing—the traveling, the laziness—any of it was that. But now I realize that I have been grieving. Grieving for the loss of my mom, for relationships past, for friends who are moving, for people I have loved and lost, for children I could not help, for children I could help, and perhaps leaving this house that I love so very much now.

 Meditation comes to everyone in some way. Some meditate when they clean, some write, some listen to music, exercise, do yoga, draw, paint—anyway that brings a sense of satisfaction. A friend of mine in college once told me a story about her dad. When things got rough, he would get his gun and go out into the woods. He said he was going hunting, but he rarely came back with anything. She said he thought that maybe he just went out there to pray and think. Perhaps he was listening for God to answer.

I believe that mediation brings you closer to yourself. It allows you to go within. But the joy of meditation is not that I have to sit still and a mountain top and chant. I can do it while I throw the ball to Marley. I can rake leaves. All I have to do is let go.

Extended Vacations: No time for boredom.

In case you didn't already know, I have taken a year off from teaching. I had the means to do it, and I really needed a break. When I made this decision, my friends have been very supportive and seem to truly believe it was the best thing for me to do (and I am very thankful). On the other side, there are those that are seriously worried that I do not have a job. I have also had those asking “what are you doing with all of that time?”

Well, just so you know, I am not a total bum. I have been very busy with many different projects. But for the wonderer's of the world, here is what is going on with me:

•     I have been sleeping--alot--like actually sleeping through the morning. Now, I know I said I wasn't being a bum. And it's true. My hours have changed quite a bit and I think I am learning that I need to keep different hours. I usually get up around 10, have some time to meditate, write, research, and then I start the day. Now this also means that I stay up very late. For example, I am writing this blog at 12:55am. I probably won't go to bed until 2am. But I will still be productive.

•     I have been watching television I never had time for before. Thanks Netflix! Yes, I am going with the bum thing again. But, I now know what all the fuss has been about with such shows as Lost and True Blood and the Pyramid Codes. Alright, maybe that last one was not as popular, but I have learned a great deal.

•     I am becoming a technological genius by learning to blog, create web pages, and using my smart phone for things other than calling people. As a teacher, I used technology in the classroom, but now I am using it in real life. I am hoping this is going to help me find a job when the time comes. I have also got connected to Linkedin, twitter, globe troopers, couch surfers and all sorts of other fun networking!

•     I have been traveling across the state, Atlantic Ocean, Gulf of Mexico, and soon, the Pacific Ocean. I have used the time to see parts of the world and am constantly planning trips. I have spent time with my family, friends and people I really care about. I have gotten to know some really special people and have learned so much about myself and the world. I have strengthened relationships and learned to let go of others. I have learned about living. Wanna know about my trip to Greece? http://shelleysbigislandsummer.blogspot.com/

•     I have spent some time with my dogs. We hike a lot which gives me time to get to know myself and the Earth.

•     I have been helping other people with their various projects, etc. I have friends that are moving, friends that need their houses organized, friends that just need a friend around.

•     I have also been working on my own house. I have painted almost every room in the house. I have repaired damaged things, redecorated, and arranged. Perhaps when spring hits, I'll work in the yard.

•     And finally, I have been reading for pleasure. I have completed 10 books that were not required for school or teaching purposes. Do you know how awesome this is? I have been told by many people that teachers are lucky to get so much time off in the summer. I don't think the majority of the population understands that the time we do have off is for recovery. I was usually so tired by the end of the school year, that I really didn't feel like doing anything until August--and then I had to go back to work. So the simple things such as reading a trashy novel are a real treat. 

 

 So there you have it. I haven't been a total bum. I am sure there are other things I could be doing to save the world but I will have to do that a little later. I am learning, creating and living at my own pleasure. My only wish right now is that the rest of the world can feel this free, even if it is only for a short time.

Let Go and Let it Flow...yo.

I have been agonizing lately on writing for this blog. Most of the time, something will come along and say "hey! Write about me!" But obviously, the months of Oct, Nov, and Dec were times of reflection and family. It was also a time for me to think about what is really important to me. Now that I have, I have been bombarded with messages about clearing so I believe it is time to share these with you!

This past week, I have been listening to a pod cast called "Ascension 360: Navigating the New World Energies." I have to tell you this woman (Hillary Harris) is a wealth of information! Also this week, our Circle of Shaman focused on clearing out our vibrational fields to prepare for the shift of 2012 and our upcoming advanced Shaman class. I would like to share a bit of information that I received from both of these sources.

We are on the verge of a new world where we are returning to source and remembering who we are. In order to do this, we have to clean our vibrations--CLEAN AND CLEAR. 

According to Hillary Harris, there are 6 main areas that need to be cleaned out:

Environmental

Situational

Mental

Physical

Emotional

Spiritual

It is time to clean your vibrational house…and sometimes that's literal! 

Let's start with your environment:

If you are one of those people on the precipice of being on the  TV show "Hoarders," this is totally for you. Cleaning  the clutter in your house will help raise the vibration and also make you feel as if you have actually accomplished something.  Go through your closets and drawers and get rid of all the things that you no longer use, want to see, hate, or just have forgotten why the hell you had it in the first place. It only takes up space in your house and you need the energy flow! Look at those things hanging on your wall. Are they you? Let it go if it is not. Does your environment in which you live reflect who you are? If not, it is time to get rid of the old. 

Also think about the people in your environment, what you watch on TV, what you listen to on the radio, what you read on the internet (haha-this included!) Does it serve you? Does it bring you up or down? Let me invite you to open your world up to good news instead of all that is fear based. You will be amazed at how well you are able to think and how much better you feel when you are not surrounded by things that do not suit you. 

Situations: Jobs, relationships, family, friends. 

Sometimes those people you love  bring you down. Are you agreeing to things out of guilt or obligation--not because you want to? Perhaps it is time to speak your truth and just say no. You may even have to let these people go. This is extremely challenging. This takes a great deal of courage to implement. Sometimes it just takes some time, but these areas drag down your energy.

How about having too much to do? You do over plan in order to feel successful? I used to have this issue myself. I was constantly making a list. Now, I still make a list, but if I don't get it all done, it's ok. The list mainly is so that I don't forget to pick up such things as toothpaste and toilet paper.

Physical: Food and Drink

Things that could be making you sick or bringing you down:

sugar 

meat

Processed food

alcohol

I love all of these things and will continue to eat them. After all, I do love to brew the beer. But being aware of what you put into your body is the first step. Before you eat that Twinkie in the pantry, take  a moment to ask yourself what that Twinkie is going to do for you. 

You do need energy and protein to keep going but limiting the amount of sugar and processed foods will help you feel much better.

Mental: what are you thinking about? Is your EGO overactive? 

If you want to know more about your ego, check out Eckart Tolle. He can explain it all much better than I can. I HIGHLY recommend you read his books or listen to his lectures if you have not already. You can order his shit from amazon here.

Your ego needs to be quiet. When you are thinking of things of the past (shoulda, coulda, woulda) then your ego is working on you. When it brings these things up, it is best to recognize it, thank it, then let it go. You want to live in the now as much as possible and your ego does not always help you do that. 

What type of language are you using? Words have power! Your negative language such as "I hate that", or "that makes me sick"  spread negativity and really do "make you sick." Think about the attitudes you have about certain groups of people. Negative thoughts lead to negative things and manifest in the world. When you have one of these thoughts, please take the time to "think" about what you are thinking.  Attitudes and choices are also important. Do you always feel that you struggle? Do you have the notion that "when this happens or I get enough money, then I'll be happy"? Make a choice to be happy. Recognize your ego and quiet it. Make your teacup half full!!

Emotional: Anxiety, fear, depression, anger, etc.

Where does it come from? Usually the past. These wounds will hold you in a negative pattern and will suck you back down. Your ego loves this shit. 

According to Hillary Harris, the best and simplest way to deal with it: Stop taking things personally and stop comparing yourself to others.

The opposite of love is fear. Most of the time, we get depressed or sad or anxious is because we are afraid. Now, don't get me wrong; fear is important and will keep you from doing something really stupid. But fear should not overwhelm you. Trying something new causes anxiety however, overcoming this fear opens up our worlds to new and exciting things. 

Spiritual: Karma clearing

It is time to clear out repeating lessons of the past. Now, according to Harris, this is where many of us are finished with our contracts here on Earth. We have completed our journey that our contracts were dictating. Now that time is over. We are free and we are in control of our destiny--which also means we are totally responsible for our lives! WOW. 

I first read about this in Hunt Henion's book Looking, Seeing, Knowing where he talks about his experiences with not having a contract and at first, it did not make sense to me. I mean, after all we come into this world with a contract and things we must do. But because this is a new and never-been-experienced-before sort of shift, most children born after 2000 do not have these contracts. They are here to further their spiritual awareness. So is the time for all of us.


Some other great suggestions on how to deal with energy flux, etc:

• Exercise! Even if it is just a walk in the park for about twenty minutes. It will help you clear you mind.
• Get lots of rest/sleep. Energy flux wreaks havoc on the system.
• Take some salt baths. Epsom Salt is cheap and easily found in the local grocery store/pharmacy. Also a good place to order bath salts is the San Francisco Salt Company.  I have friends that swear by them.
• Stay in touch with your guides. They are the little voices in your head and that feeling in your gut. Be careful not to confuse the voice with your ego. Your guides will lead you in the right direction. Your ego would be trying to scare the crap out of you.

Now is the time to step beyond and become a light for everyone else. It is time to let go of all that does not serve you any longer and open your heart to everything you want. Now is your moment. LIVE IN LOVE!

Please be aware that your life is about to change. You are about to go through a great shift. Your relationships, job, environment,  EVERYTHING will be different. The good news is you are not alone!

For more information, check out the following links:

Ascension 360

Earthstar Spiritual Center

Celestial Vision